Emotion Regulation

A therapist can help you develop emotional regulation skills, but we understand that scheduling therapy can feel a bit daunting when your emotions are overwhelming. For this reason, we’re including a few simple emotion regulation skills you can practice any time to start feeling better:

• Name Your emotion – sometimes intense emotions feel disorienting and it’s difficult to even put a finger on what we’re experiencing. Taking a moment to think about the emotion, name what it is, and consider where it stems from can make it easier to process. Being able to accurately identify emotions also makes it easier to talk about feelings with others.
• Allow yourself space and time – you can’t always know when we’re going to experience an intense emotion, but when you do, allow yourself the space and time to feel it. Repressing or ignoring emotions will often lead to increased intensity.
• Identify emotional triggers – by reducing your exposure to certain triggers, you may be able to more easily reduce the incidence of intense emotions. While avoiding triggers isn’t always possible and it’s not necessarily a good long-term plan, limiting your exposure to certain triggers as you develop emotional regulation skills can be very beneficial.
• Reframe your narrative – the stories we tell ourselves impact the way we feel. If you’re experiencing intense emotions, check in with your internal narrative. Did you invite a few friends over who weren’t able to make it, and now, you feel like everyone hates you? This is an exaggeration, but reframing these types of narratives can make a big difference and alleviate the intensity of emotions. Instead of assuming everyone hates you in the example above, consider that everyone is busy, and plans don’t always pan out.
• Learn positive self-talk – this is similar to the reframing of internal narratives. When you notice you’re thinking negatively about yourself, try to think of something positive to say about yourself. It may sound cheesy, but you can also start reciting regular affirmations to train yourself to engage in positive self-talk more naturally.
• Cling to the positive – most people experience emotions like fear, anger, sadness, and anxiety very intensely, and these emotions tend to linger. I know we said there is no such thing as bad emotions, and we do believe that. However, there are, undoubtedly, some emotions that feel better than others. When you notice yourself experiencing joy or comfort, allow yourself to hold onto those emotions as long or longer than you experience more challenging emotions.